Lindsey and I have discussed this one to extreme lengths... basically the overall question is WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THIS THING?
Who is wearing this?! Now, maybe my taste isn't the best. I make mistakes sometimes (like when I thought wearing my HS uniform skirt was cute - it wasn't. Thankfully, I was 16 and "punk"), everyone does. But... who is buying this thing and why? I'd like to meet them and figure out what about this monstrosity is attractive to them. This could turn into a minor sociological experiment. What is the mind like of the person who wants to wear this?
Ok enough serious talk, let's get to deconstructing the hideousness of this thing.
-How do you pee in this? You'd have to unbutton the whole top, pull the whole thing down and go. Then pull it back up, button it up and repeat EVERY TIME you have to go to the bathroom. If you drink, forget it. You're pissing your pants... err... jumpsuit.
-What's up with the strategic seaming that looks like an underwire bra? It's doing horrible things for the model's boobs, and I'm guessing will do worse for the average consumer of a denim tank jumpsuit. Let's face it... there are some ugly tits out there. Gisele couldn't even make this thing look good.
-How does she not have a camel toe? (excellent point Lindsey. You get full credit for this observation). It's hard enough to buy jeans if you're a woman but when you combine jeans and a tank into one piece, how does everything work out to NOT have denim all up in your area? Not a good look, on anyone.
-Now, I can't give you a view of the back thanks to shitty linking, or just not being able to figure it out, but it has pockets... and belt loops. WHY DO YOU NEED A BELT IF YOUR PANTS ARE ATTACHED TO YOUR SHIRT????
Ok I think I've covered all bases... but I clearly have some issues with this thing. It's just so... wrong. It's fucking wrong. oh aww keep your hands in your pockets. You're just making it look like you're wearing two separate pieces, but we know you're not. That's a one piece, baby... and it's nasty. It might even be the ultimate in Canadian Tuxedos.
Lindsey asked a guy for his opinion. Let's see what he said:
"that's an abomination in the eyes of the lord
and in mine
and hopefully everyone elses
tell me people don't wear that
TELL ME
THEY DON'T
WEAR THAT"*
Boom Boom Jeans... if there is an apocalypse tomorrow**, the designer of this is going to be one of the first to go, just for creating this thing. I can't... I just can't.
Thank you and goodnight.
*John Redsaw, ladies and gentlemen.
**There better not be an apocalypse tomorrow, I'm enjoying my life too much, even after seeing this thing.
POST SCRIPT
If you are actually interested, this monster goes for $68.50. $68.50 is all it takes for you to look like a tacky piece who should be selling your body at Hunts Point. I'll keep my $68.50, thank you, blow it all on Rod Serling bios, nail polish, and yarn. Although, it is fun to think about my friends and I simultaneously wearing this beast and acting dumb. THEN AND ONLY THEN... then and only then.
This is the best ever. I can't stop laughing.
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