Nice Jewish Guys of 2012
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Charming is the New Manipulative
Ladies and Gentlemen, readers alike... let me tell you why I've discovered why charming is the new manipulative. Yes I'm aware that as of late, if you've been around me, you may have noticed I'm describing whatever I can as "the new black" (really though, asses are the new black... no longer is it all about the t's, the a is getting it's 15 minutes) but I assure you this phase will pass. This time it's a legit thing.
Anyway, after someone had recently described themselves to me as charming, I started thinking about what charming really means, especially when it's coming from a man. Well, frankly... charming is a kinder word for manipulative. Think about every charming person, male OR female, that you've ever met. How has it ended? Not very well, I'm sure. You probably got sucked into a lot of things you wouldn't think you'd do. You maybe put up with a lot of shit you didn't want to, making excuses. This is not just coming from personal experience but having working eyes and ears. People are scummy. (Yes, I am in a particularly disgruntled mood lately and yes, my trust/faith in people is dwindling hard.... but I still remain pleasant about many things in my life!)
So think about these "charming people." Remember any and all stories where someone has described another person as charming. It's a huge red flag. Charming>charmer>charm... a snake charmer... what do they do? They play a song and get the snake completely under their control. While the person being charmed may not the the snake, this concept still applies. Said charming person plays their little sweet song rendering us relatively incapable.
Charismatic... well, I think that's a different story. Sometimes I've heard people relate the two, but charismatic has a much less scummy ring to it. Recently, a friend told me a story about a person described as very charming who also turned out to be a manipulator and turned their back on someone after leading them on. The said manipulated person ended up in a really bad situation. While you should know better after a certain point, she was completely charmed into hope that things would change and clueless as to the charmer's many indiscretions.
Nothing good has ever come, personally, from someone I've met who was described as charming. I finally put this together recently. Thankfully I saw the red flag and came to this conclusion before I got myself into a lot of hot water. Yet somehow, being a single person in an enormous city, knowing this is a big one on the red flag scale, makes me kind of depressed. I'm alright with being single. I have good things elsewhere in my life to keep me from being sad over this at a constant, but just knowing that another huge obstacle is out there makes me exhausted and upset by the prospect of a life alone, or, worse, with a shitbag husband/boyfriend.
So, avoid charming people. No matter how cute they are or how much you have in common or how compatible you think you are. It's probably an act. Sorry, but you might thank me at some point.
Anyway, after someone had recently described themselves to me as charming, I started thinking about what charming really means, especially when it's coming from a man. Well, frankly... charming is a kinder word for manipulative. Think about every charming person, male OR female, that you've ever met. How has it ended? Not very well, I'm sure. You probably got sucked into a lot of things you wouldn't think you'd do. You maybe put up with a lot of shit you didn't want to, making excuses. This is not just coming from personal experience but having working eyes and ears. People are scummy. (Yes, I am in a particularly disgruntled mood lately and yes, my trust/faith in people is dwindling hard.... but I still remain pleasant about many things in my life!)
So think about these "charming people." Remember any and all stories where someone has described another person as charming. It's a huge red flag. Charming>charmer>charm... a snake charmer... what do they do? They play a song and get the snake completely under their control. While the person being charmed may not the the snake, this concept still applies. Said charming person plays their little sweet song rendering us relatively incapable.
Charismatic... well, I think that's a different story. Sometimes I've heard people relate the two, but charismatic has a much less scummy ring to it. Recently, a friend told me a story about a person described as very charming who also turned out to be a manipulator and turned their back on someone after leading them on. The said manipulated person ended up in a really bad situation. While you should know better after a certain point, she was completely charmed into hope that things would change and clueless as to the charmer's many indiscretions.
Nothing good has ever come, personally, from someone I've met who was described as charming. I finally put this together recently. Thankfully I saw the red flag and came to this conclusion before I got myself into a lot of hot water. Yet somehow, being a single person in an enormous city, knowing this is a big one on the red flag scale, makes me kind of depressed. I'm alright with being single. I have good things elsewhere in my life to keep me from being sad over this at a constant, but just knowing that another huge obstacle is out there makes me exhausted and upset by the prospect of a life alone, or, worse, with a shitbag husband/boyfriend.
So, avoid charming people. No matter how cute they are or how much you have in common or how compatible you think you are. It's probably an act. Sorry, but you might thank me at some point.
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